• Miscellaneous

    Passion vs. Curiosity

    Follow Your Passion“. It’s a phrase we’ve heard over and over and over. Yet, recently, I was introduced to another view of this concept, thanks to author Elizabeth Gilbert. She has had a change of heart … and so have I.

    Passion vs. Curiosity | She Will Rise

    Elizabeth Gilbert was asked to speak at one of Oprah’s Super Soul Sessions, a while back. Her topic was titled “Flight of the Hummingbird: The Curiosity-Driven Life“. This is the talk she gave:

    And, because some of you may be more like me, preferring to read, over watching the video (though, I do still highly recommend you watch the video, if you have time … Liz is a great speaker!), I’ve transcribed the video for your convenience:

    [Oprah gives intro] [Liz:] Sweeties! Sweethearts, my loves, we’re here, in so much grace… Thank you. Thank you so much.So listen, I’m here today to do something that, I have to be honest with you, that I never in a million years thought I would ever do. I am here today to speak out against passion. You heard me right: against passion.And I know it sounds very strange and weird, but I want you to stay with me on this. Because I really believe what I have to say here, today, may bring a measure of comfort, specifically to some of you, in particular, and I’m hoping it really will.

    But I have to back up for a minute, and just say, to come clean, that I am the leastlikely person in the world ever to become a committed anti-passion spokeswoman. The fact is that I have led my entire life guided by passion. Particularly in regard to my work as a writer, which is a vocation I have been chasing my entire life with a love that you could call obsessive.

    I can barely even remember a time before I knew that I was going to be a writer, that I had to be a writer, that I needed to be a writer, that I was going to be a writer, no matter what it took.

    I was probably like 5 or 6; I was a book-loving child. And, I remember I pieced it together, at last, that books do not just magically appear out of the ether, but that people make them. They create them, from their imaginations. And that kind of person who does that, is called a Writer. And once I had that piece of information, that was it: my destiny, from that point forward, was sealed, I made my decision. And I have never veered from that passion since.

    I have to be very honest with you, because it would be disingenuous of me to play at anything else: Passion has worked for me. Passion was the thing that kept me writing in the new, early years, before anybody else except me cared about what I was doing. For a long time, I made a living as a diner waitress, and a bartender. And passion was the thing that made me come home from those long shifts, smelling like other people’s French fries, with really sore feet, after a really long day at work, and then I would take off my shoes and sit down, and go to my real work. And that real work was Writing. I did that, day after day and year after year. Even when I was getting nothing out of it, except for rejection letter, after rejection letter, after rejection letter. But I didn’t care.

    I didn’t love it. No one loves being rejected. But passion — my passion for writing was so big that it made me stay in the game, even through all of the obstacles. And then, finally, I got lucky enough to become a published writer. Then, in 2006, I got reallylucky. I wrote this book called, “Eat, Pray, Love” — you remember that one? — and, it became really successful, much to my surprise. And as soon as that happened, as soon as I became successful, THIS started to happen… people started putting a microphone in my hand, and they would send me up on stage, and they would ask me to stand there and speak about how I had gotten there, and what I had learned.

    And so, of course, the minute I had the opportunity to speak in public about the thing I cared about and believed in the most, what did I talk about? Passion. What else would it have been? There was no other subject, as far as I was concerned. Passion, to me, was everything. It was the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega, the one true path, and the only way forward. And so, in audiences across the world, I would just stand there on stage and I would say some variation of this, night after night.

    “You know what you have to do, every single one of you? You have to identify your passion. You have to identify that tower of flame within you that will be your guiding, purposeful light. You have to find that thing that makes you feel like your head is on fire, that makes you feel like there’s a soul revolution going on deep inside your rib cage, that makes you feel like you would sacrifice and risk everything for that thing, that nothing else matters, that thing that you KNOW you were born to do. Then you have to get every molecule of your being, and you’ve got to funnel it directly and powerfully into that thing, that one thing, and no other thing. And you’ve got to focus on that forever, and that way, and only that way, will you succeed.”

    I’d be up there on stage, and I’d be quoting Vince Lombardi, and I’d be quoting Winston Churchill, and I’d be quoting Eleanor Roosevelt, and I’d be quoting Jonathan “freakin’” Livingston Seagull, and I’d be telling people that ‘if you can dream it you can be it’, and that you’ve got to ‘jump so the net will catch you’, and ‘what would you do if you knew you could not fail’, and you guys… you know all the bumper stickers, you probably have them on your car, right?

    We all know these slogans. But I did it with enormous sincerity, because I really believed it. I believed that I was doing a public service by telling people that they had to live their lives exactly the same way that I had always lived mine. I preached that, because that was my fundamental truth, that was my certainty. And then, something happened.

  • Identity,  Personality,  Work

    How Personality Quizzes Set Me Free

    I love personality quizzes! Mind you, I’ve always been very self-reflective, and I love psychology (knowing what makes people do what they do).

    Either way, I honestly believe that knowing my personality type has brought me freedom. Let me show you how…

    How Personality Quizzes Set Me Free | SheWillRise.ca

    A LITTLE HISTORY

    I started learning about personality types back in 1997. Florence Littauer’s books were the first to introduce me to these, and from there, I have taken several others.

    THE RENAISSANCE SOUL

    Margaret Lobenstine has a book called “The Renaissance Soul“, and it describes me perfectly! When I found this book, I immediately recommended it to my sister, and she, too, feels that it perfectly describes her. She and I now frequently reference this aspect of our personalities. 😉

    STRENGTHSFINDER 2.0

    Tom Rath’s book, “StrengthsFinder 2.0“, had a code for you to go online and take the Clifton StrengthsFinder quiz. From that, I learned that my “Top 5” are Empathy, Connectedness, Input, Intellection, and Strategic.

    This explained for me my love of keeping empty boxes around in case I might need them some day (Input), and my love of books & reading (Intellection / collecting knowledge!).

    MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR

    Through reading several descriptions online, I learned my MBTI — only to then take a quiz at 16personalites.com and have my findings confirmed. I am predominantly INFP (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving), but also ENFP (probably about a 60% | 40% mix).

    [Fun fact: One who has a fairly even split between Introvert & Extrovert is called an “Ambivert“! Thanks, Pinterest!] LOL

    ENNEAGRAM

    I haven’t done enough research on this one, yet, so I don’t know enough about it. But, from the quiz I took, my Enneagram number is 5.

    HOROSCOPE

    Generally, I tend to stay away from Astrology & horoscopes — they’re never very accurate, anyway. However, there are bits of the Sagittarius profile (my horoscope) that fit me perfectly … fiercely independent? Yep! A fiery temper? Not so much. I’m quite easy-going, in fact.

    CORE VALUES

    I also researched my core values, and came up with a list of my top 10 (plus a few extra). Suffice it to say, Freedom is my #1 core value, and SheWillRise has that as its overarching theme — the thread that ties all of my various interests together.

    So, having done all of these quizzes (plus, a whole slew of the ones through BuzzFeed… Thanks, Facebook! LOL), I now feel I have a really good grasp of who I am, what makes me tick, and why I do what I do… especially on default/instinct, when I’m not really responding, but reacting.

    LEARNING TO “SEE”

    Because I know my personality type and core values, I can now see why certain jobs never fit me (mainly any of them where I work for an employer! LOL), and why I’ve acted as I have — or made certain choices — in the past. Knowing that I’m a right-brained creative, for example (INFP is “the Artist”), shows me why the left-brained, secretarial jobs I’ve had never worked out for me (I had 3 of them in 3 years!). I was trying to force the proverbial square peg into a round hole, so-to-speak… acting in a way that was in opposition to my type.

    During the second of those secretarial jobs, I was super-stressed because of work, and decided to make up a list of all of the things I both loved & hated from all of my previous jobs. Doing this, plus taking into account my personality & values, I was able to make my next job a much better fit for me, even if it still wasn’t perfect. Of course, at that time, I still hadn’t realized the bit about my right-brained creative side (I knew I had it, but it’d been buried for years at that point). Therefore, I still didn’t see that secretarial jobs weren’t a fit for me. After all, I’d gone to college and had gotten a certificate in Office Administration! So, I assumed that that’s what I needed to (should) be doing! I knew that, eventually, when finances allowed, I wanted to start my own business — I didn’t know what business, yet, but I knew I wanted to work for myself. But again, finances at that time didn’t allow for that.

    Well, fast forward nine months, and I found myself out of a job — again. And, being that the job market was pretty sucky (especially in the small town where I live), hubby suggested that I go through the government-run self-employment program (here in Ontario, Canada) and try starting up the business I’d told him I’d been considering (virtual assistance for authors). So, I did!

    LIGHTBULB MOMENTS

    Since October 2013, I have been self-employed (yay!). As previously mentioned, I’ve always had a gut feeling that I was meant to be an entrepreneur — long before I got the chance to be one! I come from a family of entrepreneurs, actually (both of my grandfathers, two of my uncles, and my sister), so I like to say “it’s in my blood!” LOL

    Mind you, even my first year-and-a-half of self-employment was a learning curve. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, the “virtual assistant” thing didn’t last long, partially because it was yet another secretarial gig.

    I then thought about doing Life & Business Coaching and took the steps toward that, but I realized I’d need years of training first, which I didn’t have the time or money for. So, that got set aside…

    …Until now.

    Four-and-a-half years into my self-employment journey, I realized that coaching really is the thing I’m meant to do with my life. I was able to look back through my journals (from the past several years), and connect the dots. And it stood out like a glaring light… Plus, it helped that I found some Life Coaching courses on sale through Udemy, which I purchased, and am working through.

    FREEDOM!

    The biggest thing my path has shown/taught me, though, is first, to know myself (ala Socrates), and second, to trust my intuition. All of the various versions of my “business(es)” over the last few years have been me getting an idea, trying it, feeling that something was still “off” (not quite “it”), and then pivoting to the next thing. It’s been frustrating, at times, and somewhat discouraging, too. However, I was blessed to have an amazing business coach & friend who helped me work through all of that, as well as my sister — a business-owner herself — whose business is thriving!

    Another thing that helped add to my feeling of “freedom” was going to an Art Journaling class once a month, via the local library. This helped me to reconnect with my creativity.

    I used to spend a lot of time doing “creative” or artsy things, but motherhood pushed that (mostly) into the background for seventeen years.

    I also met some great new friends, in the last couple of years, who are musicians and creatives, themselves — which helped me to realize (after having spent time with them) that they are my “tribe”, my people… the creatives and the dreamers are with whom I feel at home.

    So, be encouraged. If you still don’t know what you are meant to do, just keep experimenting. And, if you need help, you can always book a FREE discovery call with me to see if we’d be a good fit to work together through my Business Coaching services. I’d love to help you get clarity!

    Do you know YOUR personality type? (Share it here! I’d love to see what mix we have!) If so, how has it helped you? 

  • Identity

    Know Thyself

    Know Thyself | She Will RiseHave you ever taken those quizzes (on BuzzFeed, etc.) that tend to circulate around Facebook, promising to reveal certain aspects of your personality or character? Most of them are pure fluff. However… if you take enough of them, you begin to see patterns.

    Being the “personality junkie” that I am, I can’t resist taking these silly quizzes. I’ve taken quite a number of them, actually, saving the results I get from each in a file on my computer. There seems to be at least a little bit of truth that can come out of them, to be honest.

    For example, one thing I hadn’t noticed about myself, until I saw the same result pop up from multiple quizzes, is that I’m quite diplomatic.

    { DIPLOMATIC (adj.): having or showing the ability
    to deal with people politely (Merriam-Webster);
    tactful ability to avoid offending others or hurting their feelings,
    especially in situations where this ability is important (Dictionary.com). }

    This is very true of me, though. So, no wonder it came through in the quizzes!

    WHERE TO BEGIN

    One of my favorite tools is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). While I know there’s a lot of controversy out there regarding the validity of this profiling, I still feel that it’s one of the most accurate I’ve come across.

    Through taking the free test at 16Personalities.com, I learned that I am primarily an INFP (60%), but that I’m also about 40% ENFP (an ambivert is someone who is both extraverted and introverted). Some aspects of each fit me better, yet other aspects don’t seem to fit me at all. Therefore…

    A WORD OF CAUTION

    I fully believe that no one test is going to be able to peg us 100%, spot-on. Reason being, we are all unique and complex individuals.

    However, that being said, I think these are still highly valuable tools with which you can start getting to know yourself better!

    WHY SELF-AWARENESS IS IMPORTANT

    I believe that it’s important to take the time to be more self-aware, as it can help you to be better able to find what works best for you — whether that’s in your relationships, your health, your work, your hobbies, etc.

    For example, by knowing that I lean heavily toward the introverted side, I know that I’m going to have to ensure that I get enough time alone to recharge, especially during busy seasons, like the week between Christmas and New Years. My hubby still doesn’t understand why I cannot do 4 days straight of back-to-back family gatherings in a row. But it’s true… I get seriously worn out and irritable, and I need time alone, in quiet, to just do my own thing, and not have to be “on”. It’s like a rechargeable battery: I need to be “put on the charger” to build back up my internal juices before I’m ready to go again!

    Image result for quote + know thyself

    Another example is regarding work.

    Several years ago, I had just gotten out of a job that was all kinds of wrong for me, and was desperate to avoid landing in a similar position with my next place of employment. So, I sat down and made two lists: the parts of previous jobs that I had enjoyed (as well as some job “wishlist” items), and the parts of those former positions that I absolutely hated and didn’t wish to repeat. Then I took these lists into consideration while reading job descriptions in my hunt for work.

    Because of this, my next position ended up being far better than anything I’d had up until that point. And I believe it’s very much thanks to my willingness to take the time to sit down and reflect on what does & does not work for me.

    YOUR MOST IMPORTANT SELF

    The most important part of yourself, if you’re a follower of Jesus, is your identity in Christ. By having accepted God’s gift of salvation (an eternity with Him, in heaven), you are now a daughter (or son) of the Most High God! And this changes everything.

    This part of yourself is where you find your strength, power, and confidence. God in you is the source of all these things you cannot access on your own. You have the same power in you that raised Christ from the dead — how amazing is that?

    Knowing who you are in Him — that He lives through you — is hugely powerful! A true game-changer! For me, it’s given me a confidence that I have never before had, and it’s increased my self-esteem exponentially. As such, I’m far stronger, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, than I’ve ever been, and that affects all other aspects of my life.

    GETTING STARTED

    There are a lot of ways you can get to know yourself better. To start, I highly recommend finding out your MBTI (here). Once you’ve got that, it will serve as a good foundation from which to judge everything else.

    I also really encourage you to start a journal. Write down what you learn about yourself, and how you feel about those discoveries! You’ll be able to catch patterns, over time, and as you understand yourself better, it will help you improve all aspects of your life!

    To help you out, here are a few of my other favorite resources for becoming more self-aware:

    JUST FOR FUN…

    Leave your MBTI results in the comments, below! I’d love to know what you found out!